Weird Warning Labels

Okay I was regaling Cat with this list and my thoughts on each one and she told me I needed a blog, so here is my first entry into blogdom:

1. On a Batman Costume: "WARNING cape does NOT enable wearer to fly" well DUH!!! for that you need a SUPERMAN costume.
2. On a Duraflame log: "Flammable" Gee thanks, Captain Obvious, I thought it might be INflammable. What? What do you mean? Of COURSE they don't mean the same damn thing...
3. On a box of rat poison: "WARNING: Known to cause cancer in laboratory mice" Well, frankly I was looking for something in a plague or pox, but what the Hell.
4. On a compact disc player: "Do not use the Ultradisc 2000 as a projectile in a catapult" I ask you then what the Hell good IS it?
5. On a propane blowtorch: "Never use while sleeping" Well that takes ALL the fun out of my afternoon siesta...
6. In a microwave oven manual: "Do not use for drying pets" hmmm. Says NOTHING about the baby, though.
7. On a portable stroller: "CAUTION: Remove child before folding for storage" Well then how am I supposed to fit them both in the trunk?
8. On a bottle of hair coloring: "Do not use as an ice cream topping" Okay, Einstein, how do YOU propose I use it?
9. On a laser pointer: "Do not look into laser with remaining eye" Fool me once, shame on the laser pointer. Fool me twice, hey, where did everybody go?
10. On a medical thermometer: "Not to be used orally after using rectally" Unless you are REALLY mad at your kid and/or take pictures to torture him with when he is a teenager

Okay. I know it's not much, but they made me laugh.